Some people are planners. I am. Some people prefer to fly by the seat of their pants or let everything work itself out. Other people are in the middle of the spectrum and would like to plan but don’t know where to start. In difficult and stressful situations, even though people may gravitate towards one style or another, good planning can become difficult for anyone.
I have found over years, when people are in a tough spot and it looks as though the ground may crumble beneath them, or the walls may fall down around them, the fear can be paralyzing. Furthermore, good strategic planning is next to, if not entirely, impossible when the planning is surrounded with and based on fear.
It’s like a circus performer who climbs the ladder all the way to the top of the arena, with the intent of wowing the crowd with her acrobatic talents by twirling and swinging on the rings hung from the ceiling. As she reaches out to grab that first ring and take her first leap above the crowd, all she can think about is how there is NO NET below her. Thoughts race through her head as her heart begins to pound and her hands get sweaty. She thinks about is how much it would hurt to fall – if she didn’t die she would at least be paralyzed for the rest of her life. She thinks about how disappointed the crowd would be, and what they would say about her personally -what they will say about her failure. She thinks about her friends and family and how much it will hurt them financially to not have her performing anymore. These thoughts and this fear will be devastating to her. If she hesitates as she reaches out, if she doesn’t get enough momentum, if she doesn’t commit to grabbing that next ring, she WILL stagnate and slip and fall – her worst nightmare come true.
I know most people would say she should rationalize the fear away. If she ever told anyone these thoughts, she would likely hear responses such as, “Just don’t think about it! Buck up! Be brave! Everything will be FINE!” That is BAD advice. Thinking like that never saved anyone. People may get lucky, but that’s all it is – luck. Thinking like that ignores the real and present danger that does exist. The reality of the situation is that she COULD fall. This is very real, and to rationalize it away is just stupid. It’s asking for disaster.
So what’s a girl (or guy) to do? First, I always recommend people give in to thinking about the worst case scenario. IF she does fall, what would she do? Build a workable plan around THAT FIRST. I’m not talking about a “Plan B” here. This is a contingency plan based on the worst possible scenario. Again – start here. Although you likely will never use this plan, and it may be extreme (you are dealing with worst case here), you create a workable plan. This plan allows you to see that IF the floors do give way and the walls do crumble in your situation, you will be just fine. Life on planet earth will not cease to exist, the sun will still come up in the morning, and more importantly – you will be just fine! I can’t stress this enough.
Starting your planning like this will do something AMAZING for you. It will take away that paralyzing fear. This planning is like weaving a net under our circus performing friend. It lets her know that if she falls, she will be just fine. It allows her to reach out and jump into empty space with all the energy and confidence she needs. For you, it will allow you to fight harder and reach further for that next ring - your BEST case scenario – or even one better. It will also allow you to create a strong and realistic “Plan B” and “Plan C” – you will be able to create workable contingency plans, NOT based on fear. Weaving your net first is the ONLY way to truly address and neutralize the real dangers, while giving you the confidence to reach higher and further.
So weave your net, jump off the platform, gain momentum, and grab the next ring!!
I have found over years, when people are in a tough spot and it looks as though the ground may crumble beneath them, or the walls may fall down around them, the fear can be paralyzing. Furthermore, good strategic planning is next to, if not entirely, impossible when the planning is surrounded with and based on fear.
It’s like a circus performer who climbs the ladder all the way to the top of the arena, with the intent of wowing the crowd with her acrobatic talents by twirling and swinging on the rings hung from the ceiling. As she reaches out to grab that first ring and take her first leap above the crowd, all she can think about is how there is NO NET below her. Thoughts race through her head as her heart begins to pound and her hands get sweaty. She thinks about is how much it would hurt to fall – if she didn’t die she would at least be paralyzed for the rest of her life. She thinks about how disappointed the crowd would be, and what they would say about her personally -what they will say about her failure. She thinks about her friends and family and how much it will hurt them financially to not have her performing anymore. These thoughts and this fear will be devastating to her. If she hesitates as she reaches out, if she doesn’t get enough momentum, if she doesn’t commit to grabbing that next ring, she WILL stagnate and slip and fall – her worst nightmare come true.
I know most people would say she should rationalize the fear away. If she ever told anyone these thoughts, she would likely hear responses such as, “Just don’t think about it! Buck up! Be brave! Everything will be FINE!” That is BAD advice. Thinking like that never saved anyone. People may get lucky, but that’s all it is – luck. Thinking like that ignores the real and present danger that does exist. The reality of the situation is that she COULD fall. This is very real, and to rationalize it away is just stupid. It’s asking for disaster.
So what’s a girl (or guy) to do? First, I always recommend people give in to thinking about the worst case scenario. IF she does fall, what would she do? Build a workable plan around THAT FIRST. I’m not talking about a “Plan B” here. This is a contingency plan based on the worst possible scenario. Again – start here. Although you likely will never use this plan, and it may be extreme (you are dealing with worst case here), you create a workable plan. This plan allows you to see that IF the floors do give way and the walls do crumble in your situation, you will be just fine. Life on planet earth will not cease to exist, the sun will still come up in the morning, and more importantly – you will be just fine! I can’t stress this enough.
Starting your planning like this will do something AMAZING for you. It will take away that paralyzing fear. This planning is like weaving a net under our circus performing friend. It lets her know that if she falls, she will be just fine. It allows her to reach out and jump into empty space with all the energy and confidence she needs. For you, it will allow you to fight harder and reach further for that next ring - your BEST case scenario – or even one better. It will also allow you to create a strong and realistic “Plan B” and “Plan C” – you will be able to create workable contingency plans, NOT based on fear. Weaving your net first is the ONLY way to truly address and neutralize the real dangers, while giving you the confidence to reach higher and further.
So weave your net, jump off the platform, gain momentum, and grab the next ring!!
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